...return to Personal Recollections & War Diaries

THE SCOUT DRIVER’S LAMENT

(to be sung in a low key with rhythmic accompaniment
of hyperventilation and gnashing of teeth).

“It’s a rugged, reliable, tropical bird”
Said the Journal last year — we believed every word.
We qualified then, (PQ’d and all that)
And sat in the crewroom chewing the fat.
We sought the advice of our elders and betters,
Who abused the poor Nimbus with words of four letters.

“The new load of gubbins for gauging the strains
Gives four super readings, - but not if it rains;
The little black boxes need watertight lids,
And the ADF’s fine if you fly without skids.
The magnetic plug needs a check, as you pray
That it won’t have the look of a hedgehog at bay.”

“With your heart in your mouth, give the rotor a tweak
And listen acutely for graunching or squeak.
If thus far assured, pray do not relax;
Look at snubbers for binding, and trousers for cracks.
Stock up with adrenalin - tighten your straps:
It’s a marvellous aircraft, you privileged chaps.”

So sit down, my lads, with the old Volume One,
And dream up new places
To look for some traces
Of filings, magnetic, misplaced:— just for fun.
A rugged, reliable, tropical bird?
It’s fine to Back Britain, but this is ABSURD%

A SQUADRON COMMANDER’ S REPLY

I think it’s absurd
That you malign the bird.
Our Wallopite masters,
Used to disasters,
Say it’s reliable
And militarily viable.
Who are we to disagree?

THE NEXT PHASE

For several years
They’ve bent our ears
With the delights of the Nimbus Phase Three.
But when it got here
It wasn’t  ‘gear’
Aid went home rapidly.

At six hundred hours
We report the prowess
And the life of the Nimbus Phase Three.
Unfortunately ours
Can’t be measured in hours;
They work for minutes Two-three!

So cheer up my lad
And be eternally glad,
Who are we to sing woefully?
For isn’t it sad
That only a cad
Would denigrate the Nimbus Phase Three

Last Stanza (to be sung in a low key)
Oh where, oh where have my Alouettes gone?

A SQUADRON COMMANDER’S PRAYER

From Turbines that leave us,
And bearings that fail us,
And Scouts that go bump in the night,
Good Nimbus, deliver us

..return to index

updated 4th September 2010